Let’s be honest, sometimes the best jokes are the worst ones. You know the type: the ones that make you groan, roll your eyes, and secretly laugh a little inside.
Welcome to the land of unfunny jokes puns so cringey they’re perfect for your captions, conversations, and awkward text replies.
Whether you’re looking to break the ice, get a pity laugh, or just cause secondhand embarrassment, these are the jokes that do it all.
Below are 8 sections filled with pun-packed humor based on what people are searching for online. Let’s dive into these joke-tastrophes!
Read More: Pig Puns
Unfunny Jokes for Instagram Captions
Perfect for your posts when you’re feeling extra pun-derwhelming.
Just me, myself, and bad decisions… again.
Salad was a bad idea. Lettuce not talk about it.
My selfie game is strong, unlike my will to cook.
Fries before guys… unless he brings fries.
Caught feelings. Should’ve worn gloves.
My dog saw this post and logged off.
I donut know what I’m doing.
This outfit slays… my credit card.
I tried to be normal once. Worst 5 minutes ever.
The floor is lava… and so is my inbox.
Ice cream because adulting is hard.
Spoiler alert: I’m still broke.
Smile today. Cry later.
Nothing says “influencer” like 3 likes.
Mood: Waiting for life to get less lifey.
Painfully Unfunny One-Liners
So dry, even your toast would be jealous.
I told my dog a joke. He pawsed for effect.
I broke my pencil. It had no point.
I know they say money talks, but mine just says goodbye.
I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
I lost my mood ring. I don’t know how I feel about it.
Parallel lines have so much in common… it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Good thing it was a soft drink.
The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went… then it dawned on me.
I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK but I feel a little blue.
My math teacher called me average. How mean!
My calendar is so full, it’s got dates with destiny.
Cringey Puns for Text Replies
When ghosting isn’t an option, send these instead.
I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
Not to brag, but I already forgot what we were talking about.
I’m multitasking: messing up several things at once.
I’m on a seafood diet I see food and I eat it.
My brain has left the chat.
Texting you is my cardio.
If I had a dollar for every text I ignored… oh wait.
Current status: buffering.
You asked for honesty, not sarcasm, right?
Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse… it did.
I’m 99% tired and 1% battery.
I came, I saw, I made it awkward.
Let’s not talk about it. Ever. Again.
Typing… deleting… regretting.
Let’s circle back never.
So Bad They’re Good Dad Jokes
Dads, this one’s for you. The kings of cringe.
Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it’d be a foot.
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
I used to hate facial hair… but then it grew on me.
I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.
What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
I have a joke about construction… but I’m still working on it.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion? There was nothing left but de-brie.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
Want to hear a roof joke? Never mind it’s over your head.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
Worst Jokes for Awkward Silence
When the room goes quiet… go louder.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending beach pics.
If you see a crime at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?
I once got into a fight with a broken elevator. It was wrong on so many levels.
I dreamed I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.
What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner.”
I stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
Ever tried to eat a clock? It’s time-consuming.
My fake plants died because I didn’t pretend to water them.
I’m so bright, my mom calls me “son.”
I’m writing a book on reverse psychology. Don’t read it.
Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? Because she kept running away from the ball.
I put my phone on airplane mode and it flew away.
I named my dog “5 miles” so I can say I walk 5 miles every day.
Short Unfunny Puns for Memes
For when your meme game is low-effort but strong.
I’m eggs-hausted.
That’s nacho cheese.
You quack me up.
Let’s taco ‘bout it.
Sssmokin’… said the snake.
You’re one in a melon.
Olive you so much.
Don’t go bacon my heart.
I can’t espresso how much you bean to me.
I’m kind of a big dill.
Yolk’s on you!
Ice to meet you.
You’re shrimply the best.
Let that sink in 🛁
I’m grapeful for nothing.
Unfunny Pick-Up Lines That Might Work (Or Not)
Warning: Use with caution and a good sense of humor.
Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.
Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?
I’m not a photographer, but I can picture us together.
You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day.
Are you Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.
Is your name Google? Because you’ve got everything I’m searching for.
Are you a bank loan? Because you have my interest.
Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you’re a snack.
I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.
Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type.
If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.
Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.
I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty good with numbers. Tell you what give me yours and watch what I do with it.
Do you like raisins? No? How about a date?
Clean but Cringey Puns for School and Work
Safe, yet tragically punny.
Let’s taco ‘bout this homework.
I’m wheely tired of this math.
This project is soda-pressing.
Don’t test me I’m on edge.
This essay is un-bear-able.
I can’t even… find my pen.
Llama tell you how bored I am.
This job has me in de-nile.
I need a latte help.
I’m not lion I’m stressed.
I tried to draw strength, but my pencil broke.
It’s nacho business, teacher.
I’m totally book-ed.
No cap… I’m failing.
Workload? More like overload.
Conclusion
There you have it over 100 unfunny jokes and puns that are so awkwardly hilarious, they’re impossible not to share.
Whether you’re trying to spice up your captions, survive an awkward convo, or just want to drop a groaner at your next get-together, these cringe gems are always ready to help.
